I could try, but I live in a small midwestern town which is mostly blue-collar (living here to be close to family, also LCOL). The odds of overlapping interests nearby are pretty low.
There is a major metro ~1 hr away but the commute would be killer.
I had the very fortunate experience of being aggressively sought out by a good recruiter for a shoe-in role at a small company. I wish I had some tips to share but I think my experience is non-replicable.
> will probably get you new acquaintances soon ... 33 is hardly even "getting middle aged".
Ha, yes, saying "old" is definitely being melodramatic. I suppose I am concerned that, given my current bland state, I will have a hard time creating and sustaining connections with the ample time I have left.
> good for you. That in itself is a huge accomplishment. Not everyone can say that.
Yes, that is a good perspective. Hedonic adaptation really applies to everything
> things that you can share with your kids or as a family
Yeah I think that is part of the answer. I have perhaps over-optimized deferring to what my family wants/needs but it would probably be better for everyone if I had something I was excited to do and set aside time around that.
Ha, well my job is the one part of my life I feel really good about. I'm learning a lot, have plenty of autonomy, the work is interesting/challenging, and I see a path to having a lot of impact in this role and whatever I do next (assuming human intelligence is still needed over the next few decades).
The "exploiting edges on your own" thing is a great point and I like it a lot, but there's also something to be said for always trying to have one "tentpole" element in your life which is a reliable bright spot, even if other elements of your life are chaotic/problematic/in flux etc.
This could be different elements at different times, e.g. you could lean really heavily on a friend group for a couple years, then later become religious and let your Church be your life's Northstar for a while as the friend group organically scatters, then later go deep with your family, or a sport, or travel, or whatever.
Right now it seems like your job is probably filling that "reliable bright spot" role in your life, and imho it's not worth discarding that until another independent element is clearly ready to fill that "bright spot" role.
Really good comment. While I am somewhat concerned about people in general finding me interesting, the real concern is that I don't think my family finds me all that interesting. I am available and attentive but I don't think I bring all that much to the table in terms of fun.
Haha doing shit with my kids is something I should lean into more. We do a lot of vacations of course and those are always a lot of fun,
I think I feel selfish if I spend family time on my interests but that would probably be preferable to a blob of a dad who doesn't have anything he is excited to do.
I have done coaching and my son loved it so I will try to keep that up. I wasn't really able to connect with any of the other parents though, I don't think any of them would recognize me if they ran into me at the grocery store.
