Thanks for sharing your experience, it sounds like it's much harder than I'd think (as a cis hetero man) to be non-binary. This might be wildly off-topic, but if you wouldn't mind answering, I have a question about workplace bathroom policing. Last week I was leaving the men's bathroom at work and saw someone walking in, who very much looked to me to be a woman. I had a split second to think about if I should say something or not, and didn't say anything. About two seconds later I was walking away and saw this person leaving the bathroom quickly, so I think they were a cis woman and accidentally went into the wrong bathroom.

Was not saying anything the right move here? I imagine non-binary folks get a lot of "are you sure this is the right bathroom for you?", and I'd hate to contribute to that accidentally.

I'd say most cis folks will pretty instantly recognize when they've accidentally entered the wrong restroom and make a hasty (if somewhat embarrassed) retreat. I generally assume most people are headed to the right spot or will very, very quickly figure out when they've made a mistake.

That feeling of, "Oh shit, I don't belong here", btw, is basically what I feel using either gendered restroom. Thankfully, most tech companies try to provide some gender neutral restrooms.