> Oddly enough my friends are successful people. PhD holders, Business Owners, and people working in very respectable fields. I just wish I was a little like them, but alas.
God I feel that. I’m not one to usually be spiteful or jealous or others success but it’s getting really hard to see everyone’s wins while it seems like my life is collapsing now.
You feel like that because you want to be successful like them. It's a normal feeling. I'd be weirded out by someone who doesn't have it. Virtual hug.
We're all just strangers on the internet, but I feel just like you do. It does discourage me. I've cried. I've been angry against people who have tried to help me out of pure altruism. It's hell. People who are lucky enough not to experience this will never understand what's like to have a mental breakdown on a Friday Night at 8pm, in which you question your entire life, while people your age are having the time of their lives partying and drinking.
No matter what you do, keep on trying. That's what I do. There are other things in life who make it worth living besides a salary and a career. Again, virtual hug.
If I do not find another job soon, it’s safe to say my career was a failure. Sad because it was the one thing that I was area of life I actually managed to get anything out of so far.
As for why, there’s too much to try and condense into a single HN comment, but my career started off on the wrong foot, and I was not really that “into” tech by the time I decided to make the jump from hobbyist to professional.
I would not say it was a net loss though, mostly because it didn’t cost me much and I did manage to snag some decent money finally by the end. No, the net loss is probably going to be in whatever I try to do next.
God I feel that. I’m not one to usually be spiteful or jealous or others success but it’s getting really hard to see everyone’s wins while it seems like my life is collapsing now.