I hear you. One way of de-escalating arguments is for people to speak from/about their concrete experiences, like you implicitly did in the last paragraph here. People who disagree strongly seem to find it easier to engage one another through that channel than by arguing in the abstract. Often, one finds that the other person's position is grounded in experiences of their own, even though they may have drawn incorrect conclusions from those experiences. That makes conversation easier.

Conversely, arguments in the abstract that are fueled by emotion coming from personal experience tend to get stuck, and nobody much enjoys them.