> I've discovered that people who've been in my life a long time have really toxic aversions to self inspection and self improvement, and that had never come to a head because we were both content being dishonest about our inner lives, but once I started being more open, it made sense to phase them out because the relationships didn't feel healthy.

I came to same realization and it's heart breaking to let go.

> I might be reading too far into your mood from just a single sentence, but don't make the mistake of burying that part of yourself just because it got burned once.

I don't think I am so much scared but I will weight my options before jumping into that role and I will be especially careful when it involves money.

> I tell that story not so much for the part about letting these people back in your life – maybe they really exploitative – but more for the bit about needing to put yourself on the line instead of shying away.

I think your advise is good. I will try to mend the relationships but as equals. May be I should try next year.