Wow, out of all the things I've written on my blog, _this_ makes it onto the front page of HN. How droll.
BTW, just to be clear, I wasn't the one who posted the link here. I don't think it's particular relevant to what HN is for, but shrug apparently somebody did.
This is all I'm going to have to say about the attacks on my character here...
When some stranger on the internet acts like a dick toward me in private emails, I call it out -- in private emails.
When I decide that someone has acted sufficiently like a dick toward me in private emails, I put them in my burn-before-read file, and I tell them so, because I don't believe in ghosting people.
That's usually the end of it.
When someone, having been told that they are now in my burn-before-read file, decides they're going to go out of their way to email me from a different email address and harass me some more, then that's just what it is -- harassment. If they'll do it to me, they'll do it to other people, and I believe that calling out harassers publicly is, in fact, the right thing to do. That's why I posted the reviews.
I disagree with the claim made below that it was "bad faith" to do so, because having interacted with the business owner, I was in fact in a position to know his character and how he treats people, and that is certainly an appropriate thing to tell people about who might be considering whether to patronize a business.
The last letter I got from them, asking me take down the reviews, was not "fair." It was an attempt to intimidate me into taking down my reviews. It was, in fact, a classic example of an attempt at such intimidation. If you don't recognize it as such, try reading @Popehat a bit. It is perfectly appropriate to respond with public shaming to someone trying to intimidate you into taking down content you posted about them that they don't like (again, see @Popehat). Ever heard of the Streisand effect?
Finally, as I believe I made quite clear in the blog posting, I would have taken down all of the reviews and the blog posting itself in a second if they had simply apologized. I still would, if they apologized today. There's no expiration date on that offer.
I'm sorry to say, but things went off the rails before he used the second email address.
In the email with the GitHub link, the final two paragraphs were an unnecessary provocation, especially the profanity in the first and personal insult in the second. Everything after that was mean-spirited and unnecessary, including your response to the second email address and the reviews.
I got into a lot of verbal fights on the internet over the years before I learned that typing at people only makes it worse. State your case plainly, without name calling, and leave it. If they keep going then 99% of the time they're trolling, and 1% they have no self control.
If you really feel the urge to "give it to them," maybe stop and think about why you feel that way. Nothing good ever comes from trying to hurt someone else to make a point, especially if that point is to make yourself feel better.
The best response is always kindness. If that doesn't work, then walk away. Escalating solves nothing.
Now other people are posting bullshit reviews on yelp and google (and maybe facebook, I’m not checking). Not only are you an asshole, you’ve convinced other assholes to post bad faith reviews of a business they’ve never interacted with as a customers.
And I bet you’re really proud of yourself. Of course, you can explain your actions, that must mean you’re a good person and what you did was right.
I don't have a lot of sympathy. The author was in the wrong for engaging with a crazy asshole, but in the end it is a crazy asshole. If being a crazy asshole comes with collateral damage sometimes, it just means there's a little bit of justice in the world.
What about "mark as spam" and move on? I maintain a few OSS projects and, occasionally, get some of those quite often. I just move on. Or...ask for $(2|5|10)k to do it for him - that also works
I mean, "mark as spam" is basically "burn before read," which is what I did to him. The difference, I guess, is that I told him I was doing it, because, like I said before, I think ghosting people is rude. YMMV.
Regarding quoting a ridiculously large number to add a requested feature, yes, sometimes I do that, and sometimes people even take me up on it and I end up both adding useful functionality to the software that everyone gets to benefit from, and making some money out of it as well. But I won't do that when the feature being requested isn't actually the right way to solve the problem. I've explained in another comment why it wasn't in this case. I'm not going to let someone pay me to make my software worse, and if you quote a price to scare someone off, sometimes they surprise you and say yes.
> ask for $(2|5|10)k to do it for him - that also works
Makes me wish emails had a feature where they took a photo of the reader as they open it, I'm sure we'd get some rather hilariously confused expressions :D
You lied. It only took me 5 seconds, not 30, to find out where you live. Probably because I also have a domain, so I knew where and how to look instantly ;P
The internet will never fully agree with you and at the end of the day you did what was right for you. Sometimes you have to say enough is enough just for your moral compass to sleep well at night. I am certain you have better things to do then call people out for nothing so I do believe this guy had it coming. Other times on HN the sentiment is the opposite and public shaming is encouraged. I don’t think you went over the top with your reaction.
While you have every right to be upset at that dick, you could act more mature by not feeding the troll. There is no victory there to be had. Either way I don’t find this a big deal. The legal assistant email is just asking for it. I’ve dealt with a few of these but some from actual lawyers, you can have some fun with those if you know the law.
BTW, just to be clear, I wasn't the one who posted the link here. I don't think it's particular relevant to what HN is for, but shrug apparently somebody did.
This is all I'm going to have to say about the attacks on my character here...
When some stranger on the internet acts like a dick toward me in private emails, I call it out -- in private emails.
When I decide that someone has acted sufficiently like a dick toward me in private emails, I put them in my burn-before-read file, and I tell them so, because I don't believe in ghosting people.
That's usually the end of it.
When someone, having been told that they are now in my burn-before-read file, decides they're going to go out of their way to email me from a different email address and harass me some more, then that's just what it is -- harassment. If they'll do it to me, they'll do it to other people, and I believe that calling out harassers publicly is, in fact, the right thing to do. That's why I posted the reviews.
I disagree with the claim made below that it was "bad faith" to do so, because having interacted with the business owner, I was in fact in a position to know his character and how he treats people, and that is certainly an appropriate thing to tell people about who might be considering whether to patronize a business.
The last letter I got from them, asking me take down the reviews, was not "fair." It was an attempt to intimidate me into taking down my reviews. It was, in fact, a classic example of an attempt at such intimidation. If you don't recognize it as such, try reading @Popehat a bit. It is perfectly appropriate to respond with public shaming to someone trying to intimidate you into taking down content you posted about them that they don't like (again, see @Popehat). Ever heard of the Streisand effect?
Finally, as I believe I made quite clear in the blog posting, I would have taken down all of the reviews and the blog posting itself in a second if they had simply apologized. I still would, if they apologized today. There's no expiration date on that offer.