If you weren't seeking help why are you here telling us? Perhaps you would like help but don't know how to ask for it, or are ashamed, or have another dumb reason.
Talk to someone, you obviously have something to say. Even if it does nothing at least someone will hear your story.
>If you weren't seeking help why are you here telling us?
I feel that's a very presumptuous and patronising thing to say. People leave suicide notes not because they want help, but because they want people to understand what they're going through. We yearn for this sort of intellectual connection even after the wish to stay alive has disappeared.
Just leaving a point of view and something for the digital archaeologists to dig up down the road. Truly I hate being alive and I hate this species. I suspect many hikikomori feel the same way
I agree that "hell is other people" as Satire put it, and have often felt as you do. I often still feel as you do. I decided to not let the bastards win some time ago.
I won't tell you what to do but I do know that victory is much sweeter than the endless black, and it is within your grasp should you choose it.
Farewell fellow traveler, it would please me to encounter you again someday.
Edit: I also have enjoyed the work of Dr. Peterson as the other commenter stated. I second the recommendation. He is why I continue to fight.
If you weren't seeking help why are you here telling us? Perhaps you would like help but don't know how to ask for it, or are ashamed, or have another dumb reason.
Talk to someone, you obviously have something to say. Even if it does nothing at least someone will hear your story.