IMO this is the best advice here. The root issue seems to be anxiety, self-love, and judgment.
if your experience of love as a child was conditioned on performance metrics, then any time you go to solve a problem you have to deal with a whole ocean of emotion and trauma that others don't have to deal with.
It will take some work to understand and get past it, and my advice would be not to go it alone. Perhaps find a professional therapist who can help to get started.
When we are physically ill or have an acheing tooth, we seek help from professionals and I bet unless it's a chronic disease, these professionals always have a way of treating it by:
1) Doing a check up,
2) Applying a short term solution (comforting medication, cleaning the infection etc),
3) Giving good advice for long term well-being.
The mind deserves the same level of attention and care. We don't need to wait for a crippling depression to finally act. Depression is the disease of not being able to act afterall.
Living a normal life itself is an enough reason to see a therapist.
I don't believe a god or participate in any religion. But I admit that there was a time when more people went to see their religious community leaders to seek help, even for very basic problems. That was a kind of proto-therapy at its infancy. We lost that with modern civilization and contemporary psychology is still considered a luxury instead of a necessity.
IMO this is the best advice here. The root issue seems to be anxiety, self-love, and judgment.
if your experience of love as a child was conditioned on performance metrics, then any time you go to solve a problem you have to deal with a whole ocean of emotion and trauma that others don't have to deal with.
It will take some work to understand and get past it, and my advice would be not to go it alone. Perhaps find a professional therapist who can help to get started.