"support ticket that really pisses off everyone in my team, and indeed every support engineer, and software engineer I've ever worked with"
I'm sorry to to be the one to break this to you -- you have only worked with bad engineers.
If you get a bug report like this, where some simple user action like typing three characters is causing client devices to crash, you better be more mad at your busted ass system than a sparse bug report.
I think the suggestion that “X crashes Safari for at least one user” vs “X crashes Safari for all users” is a pretty different severity so the relevance of this story hinges on if it’s some minority of users or a large majority, or even all users.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to try to narrow it down here simply because the story sort of hinges on the magnitude here.
I'm sorry to to be the one to break this to you -- you have only worked with bad engineers.
If you get a bug report like this, where some simple user action like typing three characters is causing client devices to crash, you better be more mad at your busted ass system than a sparse bug report.