So I've never struggled with my weight. I'm the same weight now in my mid-40s that I was in my early 20s. I don't understand why, honestly. I don't really have much in the way of self control. I like junk food and alcohol just as much as the next person. But for some reason, weight is just not an issue for me. It's like my body just self-regulates. Lots of times I just don't feel hungry. It's weird.
Just as I cannot explain why I am the way I am, it would be stupid to expect everybody to be the same as me. To look at an overweight person and assume they have no self-discipline. Or the opposite for a thin person. I don't see myself as any different from a fat person. I just somehow don't happen to be fat.
One problem that I do suffer from is anxiety and depression. In relating my experiences to others, I get the same sort of "helpful" suggestions. Go outside more. Exercise more. Meditate more. Drink more water. Eat healthier. I can only imagine what my life would feel like, if my mental health were on display the way weight is for fat people. The feeling that even though you're trying so hard, you're obviously not trying hard enough. Everyone giving unsolicited advice - I imagine the advice from former fat people is the worst.
At least with mental health issues, I can hide those, or not discuss them with "helpful" people. I have the greatest amount of compassion for fat people. People are so thoughtless and hurtful. Even when they're trying to help.
I can't say that every skinny person has a healthy relationship with food, but I can say that almost every overweight person does have an unhealthy relationship with food. Everyone is allowed to make their own choices, but if I smell liquor on your breath every morning, I'm going to assume you don't have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Same goes for food.
> I get the same sort of "helpful" suggestions
If someone is suffering from a cold and I tell them to "instead of going to work you could try taking the day off to sleep, it should help fight the cold virus", that's objectively true. If someone is suffering from depression and I tell them "try incorporating some exercise in your daily routing, it should help your mental and physical health", that's objectively true.
It feels like there's this viewpoint among many depressed folks where they want unconditional support from their friends/family, but only want the communication to go one way. It's incredibly difficult to support someone who is struggling with depression. If they offer suggestions, it's their way of trying to help because there's fuck all they can do outside of that.
The point is, I'm already doing all those things. I exercise. I eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water. I have a therapist. I don't meditate, but I do take long walks and hikes in nature, which to me is kindof meditating?
Fat people, yeah "have you tried exercising? have you tried counting calories?" FFS of course they have. They weren't born yesterday. They're aware of their weight 100% of every waking moment of the day.
Don't give people advice unless they ask for it. Plain and simple.
edit:
Regarding the first paragraph, what I mean to say is: When I discuss depression or anxiety with someone, and they come back with a bunch of "helpful" suggestions, in my mind the conversation sortof flips to where I have to justify myself. I have to explain or prove to them all the things I'm doing. It also sets up a conversation in my mind: "Am I doing enough? Should I be exercising more? Maybe I should take up yoga as well?" I don't want to justify my emotional state to someone. Especially to someone who, no offense to you, (but kindof?) does not know what the fuck they are talking about.
Just as I cannot explain why I am the way I am, it would be stupid to expect everybody to be the same as me. To look at an overweight person and assume they have no self-discipline. Or the opposite for a thin person. I don't see myself as any different from a fat person. I just somehow don't happen to be fat.
One problem that I do suffer from is anxiety and depression. In relating my experiences to others, I get the same sort of "helpful" suggestions. Go outside more. Exercise more. Meditate more. Drink more water. Eat healthier. I can only imagine what my life would feel like, if my mental health were on display the way weight is for fat people. The feeling that even though you're trying so hard, you're obviously not trying hard enough. Everyone giving unsolicited advice - I imagine the advice from former fat people is the worst.
At least with mental health issues, I can hide those, or not discuss them with "helpful" people. I have the greatest amount of compassion for fat people. People are so thoughtless and hurtful. Even when they're trying to help.