I was quite similar, asking just programming books for birthday/christmas presents since I was 10, but my parents took a different route. I'm neurodivergent so I behaved different from other people, and coming from small town conservative family they just wanted me to be "normal" and blamed the computer on my differences. For me it was crazy as it was obvious I'm different way before the computer and I just couldn't understand why they wouldn't want a kid that's spending his free time studying programming (and science). The constant stress of somebody coming to my room and whining that I'm sitting on computer (and behaving weirdly) made concentrating on programming really hard and my life really anxious and stressful. Some point at my teens I noticed that going to drinking with my friends was way more relaxing, even though I hated drinking and just wanted to study. The anxiety+stress+drinking really left a mess in my life.

Now I have my own kid and I'm finding it hard to put limits on phone usage as her peers are on tiktok etc. all the time. But the most important thing I'm trying to do is have these discussions and then that's it, try to act on what we've agreed, but not arbitrarily whine about too much usage or anything else that would make her constantly stress about it. And try to guide her to spend the screen time in better ways, like spending time playing Factorio / Minecraft multiplayer with her so we get creative time together instead of her looking short videos.