Samesies, and man it sure seems like everyone who doesn't realize this has it easy. Like, people will say that you're depressed, but I'm pretty sure it's just rational.
I agree. Most people seem to be blissflly ignorant and live life without acknowledging the suffering around us. I wish I could do that but it's not possible for my brain.
I think this belief will stick with me for life and I don't see it changing but I'm open to it.
If nothing matters, you would adopt a worldview that that isn’t hopeless to reduce feelings of depression. That would be the most logical thing to do, so in that sense your belief is irrational.
Superior is not what I would say. As far as I know, most people believe they are going onto an eternal life in a better place; I think I would feel superior if I was able to believe such a thing.
It's ironic that you say "I bet it felt good to feel superior to other’s who don’t see what you can" and then suffix it with a ":)" which is clearly passive aggressive and sorta demonstrates your own feelings of superiority to who you responded to. I think you should reconsider the way you speak to others as it may comes across as less condescending.
The rest of your comment is far more interesting. It's fair to point out that even in feeling existential angst, there is a sense of "pleasure" in feeling that angst as a kind of knowledge, where that knowledge brings comfort and a sense of security in understanding the world as it is. But I'd argue that "if you are happy why couldn’t you find a way to be happy all the time?" is probably taking it too far and not really hitting at the precise issue.
The precise issue, as it strikes me (just one guy's opinion, so take it with a grain of salt) is the gap between the present moment and whatever one is preoccupied with. Life can be "suffering" and "have no point" but is there really anything wrong with that? If you sit down at a blank page with a pencil, is the blankness of the page a lack of guidelines that is scary and insurmountable, or is it a world of freedom that gives you freedom and agency to bring your dreams to life?
My question is that it doesn't matter. If you focus on the moment, on the pencil on the paper, and start moving it, and fully focus on the moment and the movement of the pencil to let it take on a life-in-and-of-itself where there is no conceptual gap between it and you, then you will have already succeeded. And a lot of things are like that. That's part of why weightlifting feels pleasant to me, and practicing an instrument feels pleasant to me -- you are fully in the moment. Is it suffering when you don't get to do it the right way, when you're not as strong or as technically skilled as you'd like to be? Maybe, but it also feels good too, because the pain also means you are growing and that you are learning.
(as I get ready for work to sit at a desk for 8 hours)