I wonder how the age at diagnosis affects your approach. I see people like this guy or Scott Hanselman going "science the sh*t out of this" and minmaxing their health, but AFAIK they were diagnosed as adults. I was 4 when I was diagnosed and even though I know I could do something to try to improve my results, my approach ends up just being intuition, winging it and trying to think about it as little as possible. I'm left wondering if I have internalized powerlessness over this matter.
This sounds a lot like my own story. Your last sentence in particular sends chills down my spine, because that was exactly where I was stuck for perhaps 15 years. (I was diagnosed at 14 and CGMs would not be available for more than a decade still.)
Please don't give up! It's absolutely possible to break through this mental block and improve your results and mindset step by step. It is a tough journey, but it can be empowering.
I don't know where you're at now, but for me the change started with honestly tracking my data and looking the truth in the eye. I learnt to review the data regularly and think about my results, and the possible interventions I could do. And, well... it's been like that ever since :) Endless incremental improvements and occasional setbacks, but with a clear trend towards higher TIR and lower BG variance.
