NYC is a tough place for a lot of people. When I moved here years ago I was lucky in that I had a lot of friends from college that were also in the city. It could be tough meeting people if you don’t already have that or a third space you enjoy going to.
Maybe find some classes she might be interested in? There’s art stuff at pioneer works, art/computer stuff at school for poetic computation, tons of music/language/cooking lessons, etc. I’ve met lots of good friends in yoga, meditation, or Muay Thai spaces in nyc.
I think you can’t be rough on yourself about bringing her here though. It’s a beautiful place to live if you can get over the beginning difficulty!
Yeah, as I mentioned, I've always been able to find someone I get along with in most jobs that I've had, and so I've managed to find friends, and I've also never had much of a problem being alone for long periods of time. I'm also married so I have a friend that's pretty much always in close proximity. NYC kicked my ass in a lot of ways when I first moved here, but not in the "lack of friends" category. My wife is similar to me in that regard; she's usually able to find one person who she gets along with, and she's also generally ok being alone.
Part of the reason we convinced her to move here was because we thought that she'd have a higher likelihood of going to college if she went to a bigger city (and the CUNY system is excellent and inexpensive). She did go to CUNY for a semester, but for reasons I won't pretend I fully understand, she decided to do online college after that, which she's still doing. I'm not sure how to talk her into some kind of extra IRL classes.
Her only friend here, as far as I can tell, is her boyfriend. Honestly I think most people can get by with just one friend, but he said he's not going to come back to our house ever again because I'm a dick. I don't really blame him for that, and they didn't break up or anything, but I think it's made her feel a lot more isolated I think.
I am a little hamstrung by my principles on that. I do feel like the reason I got upset was valid, so I cannot apologize to him for anything pertaining to that.
I can apologize for yelling and I probably will but I don’t know that I can apologize for the content of what I said itself.
Maybe find some classes she might be interested in? There’s art stuff at pioneer works, art/computer stuff at school for poetic computation, tons of music/language/cooking lessons, etc. I’ve met lots of good friends in yoga, meditation, or Muay Thai spaces in nyc.
I think you can’t be rough on yourself about bringing her here though. It’s a beautiful place to live if you can get over the beginning difficulty!