You became an Apple employee after you found out they had hacked your computer?

Looking at their post history they seem a little paranoid. Apparently Reddit bans their accounts as soon as they make them, too.

Reddit does this to my accounts too. That's not paranoia. Somehow, the only accounts that stick are the ones where I just log out of my old account and don't clear my cookies.

You can see if it happens, because after your first two comments (always exactly two) you can go to your profile page in a logged-out browser and get a 404. This is a standard Reddit shadow-ban.

An easy way to demonstrate it is to create an account via Tor Browser, without a verified email address.

I stand corrected. Thank you.

Occam's razor is probably a good match for this story.