> Roasting your Safari 18.1.1 on Catalina (still? Minnesota winters must slow those updates) with a screen so narrow (820px) it’s like you’re browsing Hacker News—your thrilling* referrer—through a vintage 1997 monitor slit. Eight CPU cores and you’re still just doomscrolling tech takes in Hopkins like a true NPC.

I'm on an iPad in Safari. It's UA lies.