I have a cousin who went through many years, from her teens on, of anorexia, bulimia, and substance abuse. Somehow she still managed to become a vet with a decent career, with parents actively supporting her in getting different treatments.
The one treatment that finally broke the hold of her eating disorders was a live-in program at a hospital where all they did was, as a group, prepare and consume three square meals a day. It was like nutrition 101 coupled with some basic household management. Her words: "It had never been laid out like that for me, and I just didn't know it."
Does that mean it would work for your daughter? Maybe, but one obvious thing was that it was the right treatment at the right time for my cousin. A decade earlier she'd probably have blown it off or missed the point. The only thing I can say worked for her, is her and her family not giving up, hanging on and trying different things, until some magical combination of action and receptiveness met up.
As a friend to others with similar issues, I've seen the same thing: it's usually a lucky combination of action and circumstance. No treatment is guaranteed, no approach failproof. As you observe, the human brain is, in large part, a bunch of coping mechanisms (most therapists these days would nod excitedly at that understanding). It's not reasoning, it's reflexive defensives, and can take a long time to untangle.
Don't lose hope, and keep trying. And consider counselling for yourself and your spouse. This is traumatizing to you too, and getting support yourself to keep at it also helps.
The one treatment that finally broke the hold of her eating disorders was a live-in program at a hospital where all they did was, as a group, prepare and consume three square meals a day. It was like nutrition 101 coupled with some basic household management. Her words: "It had never been laid out like that for me, and I just didn't know it."
Does that mean it would work for your daughter? Maybe, but one obvious thing was that it was the right treatment at the right time for my cousin. A decade earlier she'd probably have blown it off or missed the point. The only thing I can say worked for her, is her and her family not giving up, hanging on and trying different things, until some magical combination of action and receptiveness met up.
As a friend to others with similar issues, I've seen the same thing: it's usually a lucky combination of action and circumstance. No treatment is guaranteed, no approach failproof. As you observe, the human brain is, in large part, a bunch of coping mechanisms (most therapists these days would nod excitedly at that understanding). It's not reasoning, it's reflexive defensives, and can take a long time to untangle.
Don't lose hope, and keep trying. And consider counselling for yourself and your spouse. This is traumatizing to you too, and getting support yourself to keep at it also helps.