I am a lot older than you and i had a scare once. That was bad enough but i can only imagine what you must be going through. Knowing the little i do about how medicine works in my country can i just suggest that you be as assertive as you can be, do your research, ask pertinent questions and show them you're not just a number and keep them on their toes and go elsewhere if you're not satisfied. I don't think you are selfish, I hope you get through this. I would very much like to know how you get on, if you have a blog or something. I'm not religious but 'God Bless' seems to say best what i want to say to you.