Having found no mention of TLS Lite in the last few discussions[0], I thought this TLS lib with just under 10.000 LoC (roughly 1/30 of OpenSSL's) deserves a bit of spotlight.

Written by Trevor Perris of "Moxie Marlinspike and Trevor Perrin's TACK."-fame. Summary from the page:

    TLS Lite is an open source python library that
    implements SSL and TLS. TLS Lite supports RSA
    and SRP ciphersuites.  [It] is pure python,
    however it can use other libraries for faster
    crypto operations.

Direct link to the Github-page: https://github.com/trevp/tlslite

Now onwards with the arguments ("side-channel attacks?")!

[0] It has actually never been on HN, if Algolia is to be trusted.