Yeah, this reads like a complete BS rather than a "guarantee" if you pardon my French. Specifically worded to be unenforcible and to discourage anyone from even trying.

That bit about inviting to lunch is basically "You clearly think I wasted you time and you are most likely upset with me (or think I am a scammer/poser/etc.), but let me drag you out to waste even more of your time AND make it truly personal."