I'm 25. I was fit. Never smoked. Eat healthy. Got a PhD. In two months I developed a stage 4 carcinoma. I was told in a routine check-up.
About diagnosis, the hardest part is not when they tell _you_. Well, it is not a walk in the park to get told that good chances are you won't turn 30, but your day is about to get worse. The hardest part is to go home. Tell your gf - the one you where thinking of proposing to - that you're sick - while she says tearing that you look perfectly fine and you need to explain that on the inside you are not.
I told my gf to run away from me when I was diagnosed - I really hope she is fine. I have been told I am a selfish bastard and that decision was not for me to take and many other unpleasant things. I shrug. I went through 2 surgeries, chemo and radio. They have put more that 100 metal stitches in me. I had tubes running in places I never thought it was possible. I have attempted in pain to drink morphine because I had no more needles to inject myself. It's been hard and the way I am, if I'm going to drawn in shit I won't bring down with me the ones I love. I stand by my decision and despite I deeply care about her, I'll have to do without her, because I really believe she deserves better.
Then you need to talk to your (aging) parents. Fix one day. Yeah mum dinner is fine. No she won't come I'll be there alone. She's busy. Don't worry. No reason. --- Fun talk.
The doctor told me this disease would break me down. Therapy is almost as hard as the disease itself. The people next to you really make the difference. A good psychiatrist is also very important.
I am a lot older than you and i had a scare once. That was bad enough but i can only imagine what you must be going through.
Knowing the little i do about how medicine works in my country can i just suggest that you be as assertive as you can be, do your research, ask pertinent questions and show them you're not just a number and keep them on their toes and go elsewhere if you're not satisfied.
I don't think you are selfish, I hope you get through this.
I would very much like to know how you get on, if you have
a blog or something. I'm not religious but 'God Bless' seems to say best what i want to say to you.
If it matters to you (of course it's tangential to the article), I sympathize more with those who face death before 50 due to random events, than those who suffer depression (though it's often equally morally blameless - essentially random accidents of brain chemistry). Depressed folk at least have a realistic hope of treatments that will give them some remaining years in life that they would choose over death.
Good luck w/ your life, and it sounds like you really care about her. Hope you can tell her you love her or whatever at some point without feeling guilty about it harming her (then again, I'm sure she knows).
